A new starting...

Here am i, in year 2012, April.
i've been so busy after SPM and national service, then college.
Currently studying at Taylor's Lakeside campus, Business foundation.

So many things happened, they changed me.
I learnt how to take good care of my rights to reject unnecessary work.
I learnt to put on a mask when it's needed.
I learnt to consider the worst out come i might face, not being negative, but being realistic.
I learnt to be an introvert, where i started to pay attention to my surroundings.
I learnt how to make my words more entertain-able.
I learnt to smile even when i'm sad.
I learnt to be mean at times, to protect myself.
I learnt speak my mind in a clearer method.
I learnt... ... ... a lot in this 4 months, i grew and my tune sounds older than i used to. (About to reach 23 year old's tune, maybe)

I prefer college life than high school, i've a more flexible timetable now, no school uniform, no alien language.

I've high expectation towards college teacher, friends and seniors.
Looking forward to great things, great people, great events.
It sounds like i've a clear vision on where i want to go, what i want to be.
But somehow, when i question myself about my future, i can only see a blank paper in my mind.
What do you want Xuan?

Following brother's car to college, is tiring. When parents went US for vacation, it's worse. For 12days, we left home at 7am and reach home at 10pm or later. I don't understand why gor gor like this kind of routine so much. He just feel okay to be 'not be at home' and it's a totally disagree from my point of view.

What is the point to be that busy and abandoned your family member's feelings?
What is the point to be excellent outside but a totally failure at home?
Everything starts from home, family, parents. This person is a smurfzactly FAIL if one don't even know how to care, to be thankful to his/her parents

I did not take good care of myself these days.. Looking pale, tired, exhausted day by day. I hope there's an angle would look after me and take good care of me. I'm seriously tired.


With love,
Xuan

Trials.

Yeap Yeap! trials is just ard de corner!

just put up my list of goals right in front of my bed...

they're ''preety'' xD...

I found that i'll get emo when there's exam coming

therefore i'm looking for ways to chill myself down n concentrate in my studies.

yet, still kindda helpless.

worrying abt spm....

...

...

don't feel like talking much today...

upset cz daddy n gor gor's attitude .

aih! is there any medicine to cure irresponsible sickness?

T.T

buddha bless me. =(

Love,

Xuanz...

Controlled.

Control, control, control.

Everything is under control.

Activity time, staying back, online, etc...

Trials is ard the corner, yet, i'm still being lazy.

Lazy kills, and i knew.

i'm glad that i'm not qualified to have a partner now.

therefore i'm still remaining single.

i'm so sorry and thank you very much.

you're a special person,

yet,

it's too hard to concur this mountain,

and i gave up to have you as my partner.

BUT,

i didn't give up to have you as my friend.

let's be friends? =)

Cheers, Xuanz. ;)

Trust.

Do you need days or months to know someone well,

only then u will trust them?

or you use minutes to trust them?

i'm that kind of people who use minutes to trust others.

And i end up regret doing it after that, most of the time.

But still, i trust.

isn't it wrong to trust others?

Or it's a must to trust?

i think, somehow,

we should trust others

so that they will trust us back one day. =)

What will you do if u need someone you trusted to talk to

and u don't have any?

especially when u are frustrated?

lock yourself in your room,

shouting over with your pillow on your head, on your bed?

Why not try to fetch some music?

go for karaoke?

shout those songs there, i'm sure you will feel better after all.

=)

Trust me, it works.

A friend of mine, says karaoke is a great place to sleep,

and says i'll fail to wake him up.

But in he end, he did not sleep,

We sang happily, and had a great lame time. x)

Go fetch some music with your friends when u r free,

to relax, to enjoy, to bonding, and to reduce stress. =)

Cheers, Xuanz. <3